- LuxuriousYou make me feel so beautiful
..for those who doesn't know that i'm in sweden right now, i can tell you that its about -15C and snowing outside right now... yay for that.  i'll be staying here until Jan 3, after that i can finally go home and see my baby..
..so i miss my boyfriend james... a lot. So what do I do? well bettie is smart and starts listen to some sad lovesongs instead.. which makes it worse, too. damn it..
..my baby... james.. being away from him for a week now makes me think about things.. mostly about him and us of course.. but about the future also.
..Ok what i am about to say might sound so damn corny, but thats Ok.. people whos been in love know what i mean i hope :) I think that when i met james i never really knew how long we would be together or how things would go. I mean we did meet online.. and in real life i think we clicked right away, so that was awesome. but i always thought we would take one day at a time and see how it goes. And oh my how well it went.. Of course we argue like couples do, james is just as stubborn as I am and would never give up in a fight.. but being with him.. really make me feel so good about the life i'm living..
..i never thought i would meet a cute taiwanese boy living in the bay area in the US that i would live an awesome life with. and i'm talking a damn awesome life.. we lived together for more than a year now, and i must say i think i don't think i've ever been this happy before... ever. he gives me everything thing i need.. and no i'm not talking about things. not everything is about things (although for some reason, he even provides me with that), its about love, compassion and caring. we've been through so much together,and i know that he has always been by my side..
(baby don't freak out about this next part, ok?  )
..you know..i've been thinking about something alot lately... i've had a few relationships before james, some serious ones, and some less serious ones. but i did not ever... EVER (sorry, heh) imagine i could live my whole life with any of those guys... it never felt stable enough... but that feeling is gone now, when i'm with james. i never liked the idea of getting married one day.. but being with james, makes me think twice about it, and made marriage not seem so bad at all. i think ive most likely found what i've been looking for. when people told me that "you will change your mind about marriage when you meet the 'right' person" perhaps they were right indeed.
..i mean this doesn't mean i'm getting married anytime soon, hell no :) but it makes me feel good that it doesn't freak me out as much as it used to. being with james sure made me change my mind about a lot of things..
.. i wish i could describe in words how i feel about james.. i so wish i could :( but everytime i think about him i get this little funny feeling in my tummy. its like butterflies flying around.. and i smile..and i cry at the sime time.. cry because i miss him, and wish i was better at expressing my feelings about him.. saying I love you sounds so "boring" even though i know its not.. and i love him, and i say that to him, most likely too much.. but sometimes i think what i feel is more than just 'love'.. its something deeper.. something i cannot describe.
..but thanks for being in my life, and making me so happy. i really wish i do the same for you, and i promise will try and try to make your life even better, whatever you ask for, baby. i don't think i've ever met someone as wonderful as you, james.. | 
